


The Secrets We Keep

by SkyJams



Category: NoPixel, no pixel
Genre: Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Sexual Confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28290093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyJams/pseuds/SkyJams
Summary: Johnny pulls Malton aside to ask him a question.
Relationships: Johnny Divine/Lance Malton
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	The Secrets We Keep

**Author's Note:**

> I’m posting some short and silly mini-fics in December based on a series of prompts. Happy holidays!  
> Prompt: First Time  
> I've gone back and forth about publish this one because I took a lot of liberties with their characterization. But, it's all love! I hope you like it.

Lance liked being around him. They worked well together. They spent time together. They were colleges. Friends even. That’s all this was, right? 

A week ago when they finished a long 14 hour shift together, Lance remembered turning in to hug Divine before they left Mission Row. He still wondered why he did that. Regardless, John enveloped him in his long arms and stayed there for just a few seconds too long. Lance knew that most hugs between friends last 2-3 seconds. This was at least 5, if not 6. Although he was hardly impartial so maybe he should have timed it to know if it was atypical. It was a nice hug though, that didn’t give him that panicky feeling that usually came from people getting in his personal space. 

He noticed Divine would try and spend most of their shifts together. They would talk through cases, chat about the PD, patrol together. It was enjoyable having a work partner. Malton actually didn’t know if they were partners. But Divine told him one night that he likes spending time together, and Malton agreed that they were quite efficient. 

The night they were undercover in a quiet neighborhood, sitting in their car waiting for house robbers, Lance learned that Divine laughed a lot when he was tired. Maybe it bordered on unprofessional, but it made the time pass. They would lean in together, whisper jokes, and John would try not to laugh out loud needing to remain inconspicuous. Then he did something unexpected. He reached out and pushed Malton’s black hair behind his ear. Lance didn’t know what to do, so he didn’t do anything. John let his fingers trail off, touching the length of his hair. He asked if it was ok that he did this, and then scratched three fingers in the spot behind his ear. It was such an unexpectedly nice sensation, that he closed his eyes and leaned into it. John quickly took his hand away and it left Malton confused. This wasn’t something he was used to, but he didn’t have a lot of experience with close friends like this. So, he told Divine that it was ok, and that he liked it. John just said “ok,” and changed the subject while staring out the window. Malton didn’t know what he did wrong, but didn’t know how to ask either.

At the end of their next shift, when they were going off duty, Divine asked to walk him out to the car park because the lobby was full of people. Malton assumed he wanted to talk more privately about an investigation. 

They walked around the building, and stood in the shadows. Divine opened his mouth, then hesitated and didn’t say anything. 

“Is there something on your mind?” Malton asked, hoping he could encourage him to share whatever was bothering him. 

Looking back up, Divine asked “Can I give you a hug?” 

“Uhh, sure,” Malton replied, not sure if this is how things were supposed to go, because before when they hugged he hadn’t asked for permission. He didn’t have time to overthink his response however, as Divine quickly stepped closer and put his arms around him. 

It was nice. Being this close to someone he actually liked was different than his previous experiences with overly affectionate friends who gave him hugs he didn’t want. It made him feel close to Johnny. Then, when the allotted 3, ok 5 seconds was up, Lance made to move away, because that’s what he thought he was supposed to do. But John wrapped one arm tighter around his back and the other he pushed over the back of his neck, fingers grazing through his hair. 

Lance closed his eyes. This wasn’t… normal. But his hands felt really nice, and being pressed in close to John’s shoulder made him feel like it didn’t matter, it if was unusual, he was protected so it was ok. 

“I really want to try something, ok?” John said quietly. Lance was uncertain if he should move to better listen but John held him close. “If you don’t want to, that’s ok, too. I’m not going to be upset or anything like that.” 

“Ok, what do you want to try?” Lance moved to look up at John’s face. His eyes were low, with a serious expression behind his wireframe glasses. 

“I want to kiss you,” John said, almost a whisper. 

“You know I’m not… uhh gay, right?” replied Lance with his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. 

“I know, I know,” Johnny said looking down. “I just… have you…” he cleared his throat. “Have you ever tried?” 

“Tried what?” Lance asked, tipping his head to the side.

“How about this, ok? You like me, right? Spending time with me?” John started. 

“Yes.” 

“And this… this hug is ok, right? What we’ve been doing?” He continued.

“Yes…” Lance said drawing out the words like was expecting to be tricked.

“Ok, I want you to just... close your eyes and trust me. Can you do that? It won’t be bad, I promise. And if it is, we stop and never do it again.” 

Lance just stared at Divine, trying to process what was being asked, but he felt so lost. “You want me to close my eyes?” He asked. 

“Yes,” Johnny said with certainty. 

Lance hesitated. It seemed so unusual to put himself in this kind of vulnerable position, but then again he had his eyes closed a few seconds ago when they hugged. He looked away quickly and then closed his eyes before he lost his nerve. 

There was an uncomfortable churning in his stomach. He felt Johnny’s hand move up behind his head again, and he stopped breathing. His fingers made that nice scratching feeling, sort of like what he did before. Then, he felt hot breath against his nose. Lance briefly let his eyes flutter open as the other man leaned close and pressed their lips together. He shut his eyes, not wanting to do something wrong, as he could feel the slight pressure of John’s warm chapped lips against his mouth, and the prickly wiry beard hair against his chin. 

Then it was over, and John pulled away. 

“How was that?” Johnny asked, voice gruff. Lance realized he had been holding his breath, and felt a little embarrassed.

“Uh that wasn’t… I mean…” Malton stuttered out. “It wasn’t that bad.” 

“Oh, not that bad?” John said, eyes sparkling as he watched carefully. 

“Yeah, I mean I wouldn’t mind doing it again,” he replied. Lance could feel the heat on his cheeks from saying that. “Though, I think you cheated with that hair scratch thing.” 

“Cheated? What hair scratch thing?”

“I don’t know, whatever it is you're doing back there…” Malton motioned with his head awkwardly. He was starting to realize how embarrassing this was. 

“You mean my hand?” He asked, scratching his fingers lightly. 

Lance tipped his head forward onto his shoulder again. “Yeah,” he said, into Divine's shirt. 

“You like this, or you want me to stop?” John asked, keeping his hand motions gentle as he caressed through Malton’s hair. 

“I like it,”’ he mumbled directly into Divine's shoulder. 

“Sorry, can you lift your head up?” John asked gently. “I can’t make out what you’re saying.”

“It’s nice, I like it. You can… you can do it again.” Lance forced himself to say. Though he kept looking at the collar of Divine’s shirt. 

“Ok, if that’s what you want,” Johnny said, combing his fingers through the locks on the side of his head. 

Lance didn’t know when he became so tense. His chest was buzzing, and his hands gripping Divine's shirt far too tightly. He glanced shyly up at John’s lips and then up at his eyes. John must have been waiting for him to come around because only then did he start leaning in. 

This time he definitely stopped breathing. He felt the other man’s mouth press around his bottom lip. It was different from any of his previous experiences, he noticed the rougher slide of John’s lips, his moustache tickling his nose, strong hands holding him tight. Then he moved in for a second kiss. And a third. 

Lance tilted his head to the side to give better access and tentatively tried to mimic what John was doing, but after those few short chaste brushes John began to pull back. With a sharp inhale Lance leaned in as far as he could, standing on his toes, to push his mouth hard against John’s. This time he tried to kiss like he meant it, like he wanted more. He shivered when he felt Johnny squeeze him tighter. 

Suddenly everything was wet and hot, and they were making out with an intensity Lance hadn’t felt before. He was lost in the swipe of Johnny’s tongue in his mouth, the feeling of his hot breath. It probably wasn’t that sexy, given that his nose was pushing against John’s glasses, and his fingers were digging in too tight. But it didn’t matter, he kept chasing that electric feeling. He started leaning in on his toes wanting to drown in it. It set his nerves on fire. 

Eventually Johnny moved his hand to the side of Malton’s face, cupping his cheek as he pulled away. It was embarrassing how debauched he felt just from kissing. He knew his face was hot, his lips were probably red, and the cooling feeling of spit was too much. 

It didn’t make sense how much he wanted to be close to Divine. He hadn’t ever felt this with anyone else. 

Oh no. Divine… he couldn’t. A choking cloud of shame encompassed Lance's body as he realized what he had done. He shoved away from the other man and looked down trying to clear his mind. What had he done? Why was he doing this?

The pressure of hands around his shoulders made him tense up. He should get away. He couldn’t breathe. 

“Shh, it’s ok.” John whispered. “I’m sorry. It’s ok. We’ll never do it again, ok? I’m sorry, Lance.” 

Malton screwed his eyes tight, chest tense. He balled up his hands into fists so he didn’t accidentally hug him back again. There were no words.

“Look, I’ll go,” Johnny’s warm presence moved away. “I’m sorry, ok? Just know that.” 

When Lance opened his eyes he was alone in the shadows of the car lot.


End file.
